Back
Yes! More! Please!
Asking for What You Want-
The Way You Want It
In
recent articles, we've explored the art of conscious communication
– cultivating intention and awareness, speaking truth in the
moment, and communicating what we want. Practicing conscious communication
enables us to create a bond of authenticity and trust with ourselves
and with others, to share and receive the truthful expression of our
feelings, and become fully present and alive in our experience.
Now,
let's explore what it means to bring conscious communication into
the bedroom. To practice asking for what we want, the way we want
it. This is an exercise in the art of "Yes! More! Please!"
Inspired by Carlo
Pati & Sohini Genevieve, this practice is intended to be both
sensually fun and a learning experience. The intention is to learn
to become the director, or creator, of your own pleasure; to take
full responsibility for the way you experience sensual, erotic touch.
The
Art of Sensual Communication
First, create a sacred space where you and your partner will be comfortable
and free from distractions. Make sure you have everything you require
beforehand (massage oil, water, sensual/erotic items, etc.). As the
receiver, you will be asking for different kinds of touch. Allow yourself
to be fully aware of what you like, and ask for that in a positive
manner. Remember, you're teaching your partner to give you what you
want so he/she won't have to guess. Here are three simple communication
keys for this practice.
Yes!
"That's What I Want"
Clearly and explicitly ask for the touch you want. When your partner
responds, offer a positive statement. "That feels wonderful."
or "I love the way you're using only the tips of your fingers."
More!
"Keep Doing What You're Doing"
If you want to continue enjoying a particular touch, it's extremely
helpful to tell your partner. It's the only way he/she will know that
you are enjoying exactly what they are doing.
Please!
"I'd Like Something Different"
When asking for a change, keep it positive and simple. "Would
you please use a little more pressure." or "I'd love for
you to use both hands now." When your partner responds to your
guidance, remember to give feedback. "Yes, that feels great."
By the way, you may discover you don't like a change you've requested,
and it's totally appropriate to say: "I thought I'd like that,
but actually I would prefer something else, like…"
Be
sure to switch roles with your partner, so you both have the opportunity
to give and receive. We recommend you practice this exercise many
times, going deeper, exploring more detail, and learning to be even
more precise with your sensual guidance. In fact, practicing conscious
communication in this fun, sensual way can prepare you for other situations
when it's more difficult to communicate or share your truth. Remember,
this is meant to be fun and erotic! So be gentle with yourself and
allow yourself to discover more about yourself and your partner.
By
practicing the simple but profound art of "Yes! More! Please!"
you can cultivate your ability to experience sensual, erotic touch
as fully and deeply as possible. You can open to an even deeper level
of communication between you and your partner, where communication
becomes communion and lovemaking can carry you into the experience
of ecstasy.
Enjoy.
Namaste. And be well.
